Breaking the codependent/dependent spiral is an opportunity and a challenge for both. It is absolutely essential that one or the other break the spiral to stop the dysfunctional relationship.
This spiral is based on core beliefs.
The core beliefs of the codependent are: “I need to do more than my share in order to be good enough,” “If I’m not good enough, people won’t want me, they will leave me,” and, “I will be utterly alone and abandoned. I would rather die than be utterly alone and abandoned.”
And for the dependent, the core belief is: “Others have to take care of me because I am not able to take care of myself,” “I am too weak,” “too inadequate,” or “too sick.”
These core beliefs function at an unconscious level within the code-pendent/dependent spiral and tie together the dysfunctional and destructive relationship.
Codependency and dependency are addictions. Powerful addictions!